Illustrated by Harry Tennant
The winter of 2000 was chilly, as Tallahassee winters are usually. The world had simply survived Y2K, the good concern of the millennium that had survivalists holed up of their bunkers (and others holding their breath till midnight with out incident). However as spring bloomed I used to be flailing, smack dab out within the open, barely hanging on.
Within the midst of an administrative transition in state authorities, I used to be requested to step down from my management place on the Florida Lottery. To make issues worse, I discovered myself downhill, slip-sliding from a current breakup with somebody I assumed I liked. Who needs me now? unemployed Heartsick. Picked my bones clear. Who and what I needed to be subsequent possessed a clue.
With just a few leftover unemployment profit {dollars} in my pocket, I drove south from Tallahassee for a lonely weekend at a lodge in Wakulla Springs, hoping for some scraps of consolation. A sign of which path I ought to enterprise subsequent. I am an professional at being alone, however a failure at residing alone.
This was not my first journey to Wakulla Springs. The Sunday earlier than the beginning of my seventh grade 12 months, I went to the state park with my girlfriend and her household. Yards from sapphire water, within the lengthy shadows of historical cypress timber, we had ourselves a lavish picnic. Final hurrah. A feast of deviled egg and hen salad sandwiches.
Even when method again, I used to be figuring issues out. Questioning why it did not really feel proper when my girlfriend held my hand. Wishing and praying that when she sat shut, I might really feel topsy-turvy the best way I typically felt after I approached a boy.
He was fearless, a lot braver than me. Kiss the solar and fly away. All the time, I’d conceal behind, curling myself up within the shadows, maintaining my arms out of his attain.
Reflecting on these recollections, I wandered to the springs the place she and I swam once we had been 13 — to observe individuals bounce from diving platforms two tales excessive into the Florida sky.
I used to be amazed at how straightforward it was for some individuals to fly, as they plunged into the identical prehistoric waters I reluctantly jumped into all these years in the past. It appeared to me that my complete life had been going up and down stairs. However there may be freedom within the fall. Letting go is a freedom. drowning Floating is weightless. Be baptized in a cold spring alongside tarpon and reptiles. And there may be the glory of returning to your swimming floor. Begin over again.
Robert Goltney is an Atlanta-based author initially from Cairo, Georgia. He’s the award-winning creator of cicada tree and was acknowledged because the 2023 Georgia Writer of the 12 months, Debut Novel by the Georgia Writers Affiliation in 2023. By day, he serves as Vice President of Easterseals North Georgia Operations.
This text appeared within the Summer time 2024 difficulty of Southbound.
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