I am less than 10 minutes from the quiet Lake Blue Ridge in North Georgia, surrounded by forests, open skies and chirping birds. But these six barren acres of old smoke, mud and old car piles are a whole other world. As I walked onto the property, a giddy guest greeted us, “You’re all in for a treat! I don’t think you’ll ever smile!”
Welcome to Morganton’s Tank Town USA where visitors can spray a junker with graffiti, hit it with a sledgehammer, and – in a grand finale – destroy it with an armored personnel carrier. (Other offers: drive an excavator, spray 600 bullets per minute from a machine gun, or simply take the tank for a spin.)
Over the past 11 years, a wide range of customers have crushed nearly 4,000 vehicles. A wife who beat cancer. Husband with dementia. A 91-year-old World War II D-Day vet. A mother treats her new teenage drivers. Corporate Team Building. Bachelor party.
Now it’s my turn. Owner Todd Libros secures the seatbelt for my brave friend Jane, her legs dangling from the roof-mounted seat. I lower myself into the driver’s hatch and secure earplugs to quiet the roar of the motor. In real time, the Libros talks me through the delicate dance between pressing the gas and pulling the steering lever—I grip tight and clench every muscle in my body—huge hunks of steel through the scrapyard, climb hills and maneuver, turn every squealing footstep in the dirt. Spit in the air with.
Courtesy of Tank Town USA
I brake in front of my designated junker, as if on the verge of a roller coaster drop, not sure what to expect when I step on the gas again. Then, holding my breath, I do. The hood is crushed. The glass breaks. And I barely feel a thing under the 30,000-pound razor. I massaged my tight jaw and went home with video proof—and a photo of myself flexing on top of the giant car to blow the minds of my family and friends.
This article appears in the Spring 2024 issue of Southbound.
advertisement